The photo of above, of Seth biking across the Telluride valley floor on a fat tire mountain bike (which is awesome) is really just a trick for me to get you to listen to my rant about recumbent bicycles (which are awful).

For my Sober Fun Rating, and an article about real bicycling, please click HERE. The diatribe below is about Recumbent Biking, which gets an F.

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RECUMBENT BIKING

Do you love laying back and reading a good book?

But do you also enjoy bicycling?

And do you wish that you could somehow do both at the same time while also zooming around town at the eye-line level of car tires and dog anuses?

Well, you’re in luck! Recumbent biking might be just the thing for you!

With normal bicycling, the barrage of fresh air constantly assaulting your face can be a bit overwhelming. But not with recumbent bikes. No, get ready to all but wrap your mouth around an exhaust pipe, as you whiz by a smellscape of neat things like dog poop and littered trash.

Maybe an urban ride isn’t your speed, and you’re wanting a more nature-filled, off-road experience?

Not to worry, you’ll have a long, long, time to ponder and enjoy whatever nature it is you’ve crashed into, almost immediately upon leaving any paved surface.

Recumbent biking is also thrilling, I guess?

But like, the saddest little slice of danger imaginable.

Because while you are down there scooting around on your ass in a peddling lawn chair, with all the wheel wells and sewer openings, you’re also impossible to see.

So who’s endangering who here?

It’s like wearing all black and jaywalking at night. Are you trying to trick me into hitting you with my car, you sneaky recumbent bicyclists?

Now I'm in court and my life is essentially over, all because you couldn’t just buy a normal bike?

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The photos above are some of the only photos on this whole website I didn’t take, they are from The Internet. Let’s just hope it wasn’t taken moments before these smiling, hard-to-see, people were tragically hit by a car.

Read about real biking HERE.